ANTM - 12.3

Makeover episode!
Oh the drama. Really does anyone ever explain to any of these girls that hair.grows.back. Though to be fair they weren't that bad this season.

Only Fo really lost it. Honestly Fo, butch? Mr Jay, dammit Mz Jay, is butcher than you now stop your crying.

I'd have been more pissed if I were Aminat or Sandra. I miss the 'fro and the mohawk.

The easiest way to deal with this show would be to fast forward to the photoshoot past all the crying and the bitching and Natalie calling John Barrett dude. Dude. And past Fo crying about her new hair and food stamps and past Sandra trying to come between a girl and her liquor. Cos models don't ever drink and they're never trashy. Just don't tell a girl not to drink Sandra I can't go along with that.

Photoshoot Concept: Light yourself

Congratulations: Teyona.
Despite TyTy's best efforts to sabotage her with a crappy, crappy weave she slunk up that pole and made it WERQ. And hid the rubbish hair do.

Goodbye: Jessica
Do none of these girls know anything about today's models? Alison thinks it's an insult to be likened to an alien and Jessica thinks it's enough to be pretty. Well, it isn't and it is not, Jess. See ya.

Bam.
Oh I just love Celia and you can tell Miss Jay already kinda wants to hang out with her which instantly adds to anyone's appeal.

Oh look, it's little Jenny Humphrey let out of her cage for the night. If I saw those eyes looking up at me from a pile of rubbish I'd kill it, kill it, kill it. Wonderful in pics though.

Next week: Etiquette. And spitting.
And better picture quality? Please.

(images: CW)

ANTM - 12.2

Photoshoot concept: Fun and Games

Tyra is worried that teenage girls are out of control. Personally I call teenage girls who play leapfrog out of control. And also porn stars.

And did I hear right? Did Mr Jay call that model the "pregnant fat girl"? Erm, Mr Jay, pregnant women are not fat, not even fakely pregnant ones. /rant.

Winner: Alison
Congrats crazy alien girl.
But you still freak me out. I'll stick with Sasha for the creep alien baby thing.

Goodbye: IsabellaApparently I'm not the only one who can't stand that "i'm just a simple country girl" bull-osity but sorry to see you go, Is. You seemed sweet. And how exactly can someone look like "a small person" if their legs can seriously stretch that far apart? Paulina's really getting into mean judge mode this season. Yawn.

(some) Others:
Kortnie

This shot is really cute. A little too cute perhaps but strong for a first effort. The one thing I can't get over though? The Uggs. The dirty uggs.

Celia

As soon as Miss Jay brought attention to the hand thing I couldn't.stop.looking.at.it. Before that I was staring at "rebel" girl smirking in the background and fat pregnant girl looking on whimsically remembering her hula-hooping days.

Teyona
I have to say I'm really liking Teyona. For some reason her whole "I usta be a tomboy" thing actually seems sincere. And her photo gave Tyra the oppurtunity to explain perspective. It was all very "These cows here are small, Dougal. The ones in the field are far away." (Father Ted? No one?)

(images: CW)

ANTM - Pet Peeves

I've not even started on the second part of the ANTM premiere but I've already been reminded of my pet peeves about the show. Having any part in any of the following tends to lower my estimation of a model.

1. "I'm a small town/country girl"
Oh puh-lease. I'm from the most rural of rural Ireland. I could see sheep and Catholics from my house and yet you don't see me scurrying about pretending I've never seen running water and four inch heels.

2. "This is not America's Next Best Friend" and variants of same
Yeah, you're absolutely right. Your best bet to get through this is totally to alienate those around you. It's not like you all have to live together or anything.

3. "My Granny/auntie/secondcousin'sneighbour is from [insert name of random SouthAmerican country here] so I got booty"
To which I say:
I wanted a Brazilian grandmother and all I got were these wide, Irish hips.

4. Insane screaming, usually accompanied by hyper handclapping and foot stomping.
This is especially grating when we know you do.not.know the guest judge you're creaming over. Calm, ladies. Gather.

5. Girl-on-Girl crime
Please be nice to each other. Please. It's not much to ask, is it?

ANTM - 12.1

Love.LOVE.Love.
fin

Street preacher in leather leggings?
Called London?
Actually the London thing bugs me most.

So I gotta reiterate what Tyra said: This girl's got the London look.
Lurve her hair.
But wtf was that fight with Angelea?
"You got those long toes?"
I guess if you're both models there's not a lot to criticize but srsly.

Aww.
Who wouldn't love a Blacksican with dog poo sprinkled across her nose.

Well hey there Miss All-American Lara Stone.
Though I really, really don't think Lara Stone twirls.

Well, if you're going to have crazy you might as well have crazy with big blue eyes.

(photos: CW)